Eh...

So I am exhausted and had fun with my friend Sarah tonight! Everything was fine and dandy until I started homework...and shit starting resurfing again. Thanks dad! I am sick of dealing with this loss and it will take me a long time to get over because the pain still has yet to subside. Everyone says that I can process with them, but it doesn't do much help. I keep wondering how Christmas is going to go when I am home. All I know it should be interesting and there is still going to be a lot of hurt and pain.

I'm not sure about how each day goes now these days...I know I am not Bipolar because I have not met any requirements of it in the DSM-IV, but I am tired of all of the stress, pressure, and pain I have been going through these past three months. I am sick of it and wearing down so thin. My mom tells me that I am only human and yes I am human...was has troubling breathing. I feel like I have been suffocated by all this crap surrounding me and its hard to breathe feeling so emotional and incapable of getting through it all which part of it I like to thank my anxiety.

I don't know where I am going with this but all I know my mood right now is to crawl up in a ball and cry. And that's another part of me that I am tired of is crying consistently! It's a normal thing I am going through...work...grad school...social life...working out...etc. But does it have to be so hard? I'm tired, exhausted, worn out...