Cloud

Depressing, that is what my blog is...depressing! I read the only few posts I've put on here and well that's what I came with at the end of reading everything. Unfortunately, I feel that I am still in that same spot from the previous blog...however, I have had some gains from all the pain and loneliness I have experienced. Found out that I am a co-dependent person which explains a lot of personal junk that I am going through and I really need to work on my emotional stability...like everyone needs to read that! (have trouble controlling them-always have-sounds like I'm a crazy but swear that I'm not!)

I was reading Cloud tonight and something he wrote hit me. He makes an analogy by using Luke 13:6-9 and applying it to our broken lives.

In this parable of Jesus, the owner of the tree expected fruit from his tree. When the tree bore no fruit for three years in a row, the owner was not only disappointed, he was furious. "Cut it down!" he ordered.

This is often what we do when we examine our own failures, our "fruitlessness" in light of reality. We look at ourselves (the tree), and we expect to be able to keep our marriages together, to raise perfect children, to make loyal friends, and to perform our work without error (the fruit). When we fail and then become depressed, fearful, or anxious (bad fruit), we cut ourselves down by saying, "I should be able to do that."...Like the tree owner, we want growth, but we judge ourselves quickly and harshly without taking the time to figure out the problems. We operate with truth and no grace...with disastrous results.

How incredibly true this is! This passage hit me hard like a ton of bricks because I do view myself in this manner and how much other people do to. We are human and we make mistakes but it makes me realize how incredibly broken we are! Incredibly broken!!!

I don't know what my point of this blog is exactly, but I felt like sharing this passage. I do have a lot on my mind right now, but don't quite ready to share. Time will tell...