Starbucks...

So I'm sitting in at a table at Starbucks, minding my own business when this nice gentleman catches my eye. It is obivious that something is wrong with him, he's blind. As he tries to find a table to sit at...which now he is sitting directly across of me...I just can't help but think. I don't know if it's because I could of quite possibily in his shoes today if my eye sight didn't get better or if it's because he is sitting alone. I couldn't help but think and come up with many questions. I would like to go over and strike up a conversation, but am I only doing out of self pity because I feel bad or because I truly want to and want to know more about his life story. I'm so filled with different emotions, particularly today.

Prior to me coming at Starbucks, I worked this morning-totally not feeling well. Tried taking a nap but was totally irritable because the other tenant is working on the garage and on outside making a bunch of noise. Wanting to go to church but currently feeling very different towards my friend that I want to go with. Followed them to church and then lost them with no consideration that I was following them-which ended up hurting my feelings-so I ended up not going part of it was because we were late to church and parking was absolute hell-so I thought fuck this I'm leaving-which I did. I have been in this mood where I just don't want to be in South Carolina anymoer and just want to move back home but I know I can't because I would be taking the easy way out in escaping my own problems that I need to work through. So as you can tell-I'm irritable, sad, lonely, angry, stressed, etc. Thus, is why I'm here at Starbucks venting out my feelings while doing something productive (which is my defense mechanism in handling stress).

So now I'm here, having a quite difficult time concentrating because this incredibly sweet looking man is sitting across from me...and all I do is want to talk to him because he's by himself. I would love to but don't want to come across strange or scare the wits out of him. Thinking to myself and being the selfish person I am wondering what if my eyesight didn't get better-would I care? Would I act differently? I think most definately so, but I feel like with the images that I have seen-for the first time-I could really care less of God took my eyesight away from me. I've managed it before.

It just disturbs me how this nice gentlemen is sitting across from me all alone. It makes me think of what is his family like? Does he have girlfriend? How does he manage to get around Columbia? Questions consistently just keep coming. As I look around the room, people are constanatly scanning the room and I know are looking at him because he's different. Are they thinking what I am thinking? I don't know...it's just disturbing.

I know God is good and what not...and I don't know where I am going with this but I think about what Jesus would be conversing to this gentleman about. I don't know why I thought about this but just did. I really want to go over and talk to him-but I think it would be out of my own selfish ambition to or would it be my self ambition to not to?