A Step to Gain

So I have been listening to Ryan Adams consistently. It's something about his rusty voice and honesty that gets me. Today, I told my group in Personal and Spiritual Class about the difficulty its been with lossing a dad. One girl said its a matter of truly getting rid of the situation and that provides true growth to happen. Another girl said to try to look at my dad through God's eyes. I question that second statement because first, I am not God and I do not know how God sees my dad, and second, he's hurt me so much that I don't know if I can look at him through like that. I know many girls that have grown up with an abusive father or not even a father at all...but it still doesn't change the underlying theme that carries through each of us...we grew up with either no father or a father that has hurt us terribly-physically, emotionally, socially, etc.

But that one statement still sticks with me...once you have given up to this situation with my dad...you can truly move on with life. I know I need to be trusting in God in everything! But I find such a hard timein doing that lately. I don't know why that is...but what I need to consistently remind myself is that to die this worldy life I live in...I will gain it through Him! He gives us strength when we are weak! I need to rely on Him more and more everyday.

So I am going to try to do something about it tonight and read my Bible for the first time and truly pray. I haven't done this in a month and feel like I need to do this even when I completely do not feel like it. Please pray.

In His love and Grace,
Ash